


Her Majesty, Jaws the Third

by LululuLukass



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Getting Together, How Do I Tag, M/M, Tattoos, but its only mentioned once, i had to find a reason to put akaashi in tbh, i saw a prompt that fit them and had to write it, i think, mattsun and akaashi are half brothers, my first ever haikyu fic im so proud, no beta we die like daichi, theyre semi self aware, vaguely tattoo shop/florist au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28808325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LululuLukass/pseuds/LululuLukass
Summary: Hanamaki Takahiro doesn't get the opportunity to work with many customers at his new job, but at least someone keeps coming back to him. The thing is, it's always a small black line in the same area. What could they possibly be tallying?
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 57





	Her Majesty, Jaws the Third

**Author's Note:**

> omg this is literally the most I have written in like two years, i saw a prompt and was like "THAT'S MATSUHANA" and i had to make it so. sorry if my writing sucks but i hope you like it lmao

Hanamaki’s day was about as quiet as it can be while working in a tattoo shop. The buzzing from the artists around him was his white noise, and he felt comfortable. He’d only been working there for a few weeks and hadn’t seen very many customers but he was happy. Any customer he got usually wanted a simple tattoo so he didn’t work too hard. Though he _did_ want to expand further as an artist, his higher ups never gave him a chance.

Hanamaki looked up at the clock. It was about that time of the week that his favorite customer came in. They had been coming in consistently for the last few months. They were strange, to say the least. Or rather, the tattoo they got was strange. Always a single tally on the inside of their right forearm. Hanamaki burned with curiosity on what they could possibly be counting, but hadn’t gathered up the courage to ask. He’d been awestruck by the stranger’s looks. Curly hair, heavy-lidded eyes, extremely tall—taller than Hanamaki, which had surprised him because he held the title of Resident Shelf Reacher ever since he was hired—and the thickest damn eyebrows Hanamaki had ever laid eyes upon. He could admit to himself that he wasn’t as straight as he originally thought after seeing the handsome person.

The stranger walked in right on time and looked around. Hanamaki was _not_ ready to admit to the flutter in his heart that happened every time the stranger smiled at him. He cleared his throat and offered a laidback smirk in response.

“The usual?” Hanamaki already knew the answer to that, but it had become a ritual to ask every time while he sterilized his tools. Every session was short. After all, how hard was it to do just a solid line of black? Hanamaki often found himself wishing the stranger would get a more complex tattoo, but then he convinced himself it was better the way it was currently. The stranger would probably get assigned to a different artist if they wanted something more involved.

“Hell yeah,” The stranger answered as they strolled to the chair by Hanamaki. “Tat me up, sweetheart.”

Hanamaki blinked incredulously then laughed.

“I don’t even know your name and you wanna call me pet names already? This relationship is moving so fast.”

The stranger gave him a grin and winked as he sat down.

“What, should I call you mine instead?”

Hanamaki huffed and shook his head in mock disbelief, pretending he didn’t feel his cheeks flush the same shade of pink his hair was.

“I can’t believe you, we’ve been married for three years!” He pouted. “Think of the kids!”

The playful banter between them continued as Hanamaki got to work. As usual, it didn’t take longer than a few minutes but Hanamaki found himself still wanting to bask in the stranger’s presence. He was comfortable with them despite his limited exposure to them every few weeks.

As if reading Hanamaki’s mind, a business card was pushed into his hands and broke him from his thoughts. Looking up, Hanamaki found the stranger smiling.

“Thanks for the tat,” They said, “and for dealing with my bullshit. It’s only fair I repay you for that, right? Let me know when you’re free.”

Before Hanamaki could respond, they had left the shop. He could have sworn he saw their cheeks burning bright red, but managed to convince him that that wasn’t the case. It couldn’t be. He looked down at the card he had been given.

Matsukawa Issei  
Florist  
XXX-XXX-XXXX

His eyes went wide and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

“What a fucking cliche, oh my god!”

* * *

It took him a few days to work up the courage to finally text the stranger—no, _Matsukawa_. Only after a lot of memes did Hanamaki finally settle on a day where they could meet up outside of their professions.

He buzzed with excitement and nervousness. Hanamaki hadn’t expected Matsukawa to be so direct in asking him out. Maybe he’d be able to ask what Matsukawa was tallying at long last. The question had burned in his mind every time he saw Matsukawa enter the shop to the point that he had started imagining different scenarios. Oh shit, what if it was a kill count? Shit, was Hanamaki going to join the tallies? Uncertainty pulsed through him suddenly, unable to get the possibility out of his brain. Was this really a good idea?

He heaved a heavy sigh. Whatever, Matsukawa was hot as fuck. If Hanamaki was going to be killed, he probably could handle it being Matsukawa. He glanced at his phone to check the time, noting that it was about time for him to meet up with his potential murderer.

Hanamaki glanced around his messy apartment. His cat—a fat, well-loved tabby named Her Majesty Jaws the Third, Jaws for short—sat atop her sizable cat tower that definitely did not have discarded clothes strewn upon a few of the platforms. She stared at him owlishly.

“I guess I should refill your food and water just in case I don’t make it back,” He chuckled before moving into the kitchen. Jaws hopped down from the tower and followed him, meowing and threading herself through his legs. “Don’t trip me, you little dumbass!”

Once his queen was satisfied with his offerings, he left and made his way to the cafe he’s supposed to meet Matsukawa at.

* * *

Cozy Cat was a hole-in-the-wall cafe that Hanamaki had never noticed. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too far from the tattoo shop either. He didn’t know how he could have missed the existence of the cafe. From the looks of it, it seemed like it didn’t get many customers. Great, he was brought to a shady cafe for their date. What if it was a front for whatever yakuza scheme Matsukawa was in?

Before his thoughts could get too off-track, Matsukawa came up to him.

“Hey.” They smiled at Hanamaki in a way that made him internally melt.

“Hey,” He responded. “Oh, right, I kept forgetting to ask. What are your pronouns?”

Matsukawa’s smile seemed to brighten a little more at the question.

“He or they works. What about you?”

“Just he and him.”

“Alright, thank you for telling me.”

Hanamaki felt his ears get warm and nodded.

“Well, uh, shall we then? I’ve been wondering what kind of taste in coffee you had,” He teased with a playful grin. Matsukawa laughed and nodded as he opened the door to the cafe for Hanamaki. A warm gust of coffee-scented air washed over the two of them. Hanamaki took a deep breath to savor the smell before walking in.

The Cozy Cat cafe was, in fact, quite cozy. Soft jazz floated from hidden speakers, just loud enough to be background noise for anyone that wanted to stay and sit for a while at the tables or in one of the small booths against the wall. Near the windows, several plants flourished and were currently under the careful care of a man Hanamaki would not have expected to one, work at a cafe, and two, tend to plants, due to his completely jacked physique as well as a stern expression. Hanamaki felt like the man was going to start scolding the plants for something. He heard Matsukawa chuckle from beside him.

“That’s Ushijima,” The curly-haired man explained. “He’s totally harmless, but he has a hard time with interaction and conveying his feelings.”

Hanamaki nodded slowly as Matsukawa gently guided him up to the counter. Once there, he was greeted by the prettiest sight he could ever have beheld. Behind the counter was a person that looked similar to Matsukawa, albeit not as strong of an eyebrow game and being more pretty than handsome. The nametag on his apron told Hanamaki the person’s name was Akaashi.

“Holy shit, Mattsun, why didn’t you tell me I was going to meet a literal angel?!” He cried without thinking. “Sorry, we have to get divorced, I have to marry them now!”

Matsukawa burst out laughing as Akaashi’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment but his impassive expression stayed.

“Ah… I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m already in a relationship.”

“Noooo, Mattsun, my heart is broken and I need you to console me!”

“You said you were gonna divorce me for him and now you want me to help you after he turned you down?” Matsukawa deadpanned dramatically. “I’m sorry, Makki, but I can’t do that after you stomped on my heart so easily.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes with a small smile.

“You two seem to be getting along well,” He stated. “Seeing as you already have nicknames for each other.”

“Yeah yeah, Keiji,” Matsukawa said with a roll of his eyes. The more Hanamaki looked between them, the more he saw how similar they looked.

“Are you two related?” He blurted. Both Akaashi and Matsukawa looked at him.

“Halfway,” Matsukawa shrugged. “Same dad, different moms. So he’s really my brother from another mother.” Hanamaki suppressed a laugh.

“Anyway, what can I get for you, Hanamaki?” Akaashi interrupted before more information could be spilled. “I already know Issei’s order by heart, so I just need to know yours.”

Hanamaki grinned and gave Akaashi his order. Matsukawa grimaced.

“I’m shocked your teeth are in such great shape,” He commented. Hanamaki looked at him in surprise.

“What are you paying attention to my teeth for, huh? You the Tooth Fairy or something?” He asked with a grin.

“Gasp, my secret is out,” Matsukawa groaned. “Guess it’s time for me to kill you.”

Hanamaki’s eyes widened as he remembered his theory.

“Speaking of…” He started slowly. “What do you keep tally of anyway? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Matsukawa grinned slyly.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

Hanamaki pouted and nodded.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know!”

“Well, Makki,” Matsukawa hummed and looked like he was trying to hold back a torrent of laughter. “I’ve been tallying how many tattoos I have.”

Hanamaki stared at him blankly as his brain slowly processed the words.

“What.”

Unable to hold back anymore, Matsukawa doubled over with a loud guffaw. Hanamaki would’ve made fun of his ugly laugh if he wasn’t still busy registering what felt like the world’s biggest practical joke.

“Fucking seriously?!” Hanamaki shouted, still having trouble wrapping his head around the confession. “Oh my fucking GOD, I can’t fucking _BELIEVE_ this.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Akaashi’s shoulders shaking with laughter but his attention remained on Matsukawa still dying.

“You’re SO explaining this once you can breathe!”

Matsukawa opened his mouth to make a remark, but fell back into uncontrollable giggles.

“Woah, Matsukawa finally got around to asking out the cute tattoo artist, huh?” An unfamiliar voice said from behind Hanamaki, prompting him to turn around. He came face to face with someone with the most intense bedhead he’d ever encountered and a creepy smirk.

“Uh oh, stranger danger,” Hanamaki drawled as he crossed his arms. The bedhead person laughed.

“Relax, I’m the owner of the cafe. Name’s Kuroo Tetsuro.”

Hanamaki raised a non-existent brow at Kuroo.

“Matsukawa couldn’t shut up about the new hire at Owl Claw,” Kuroo explained with a grin. “He couldn’t come up with a creative way to meet you, so we brainstormed! Good to see it worked.”

“I’m so offended that that stupid plan worked!” Hanamaki cried then whirled on Matsukawa after hearing his laughter subside. “I’m never giving you another tattoo!”

“Aw man, that’s a shame,” Matsukawa sighed. “And here I was hoping I could get something if you became my boyfriend.”

Hanamaki shook his head with a laugh.

“Dumbass, I told you we’ve already been married for three years.” He ran a hand through his short hair nervously. “I can’t believe you opted to permanently get tallies on your body just to meet me.”

“Makes for one hell of a getting together story, doesn’t it?” Matsukawa asked with a grin. Hanamaki blushed bright red.

“I mean… I guess,” He relented quietly, suddenly getting shy. Matsukawa looked at him in concern.

“Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

Hanamaki quickly shook his head.

“It’s just probably the most, like, stupid but romantic thing anyone’s done for me. And we haven’t even gotten our coffee for our coffee date!” He whined.

Matsukawa smiled and put a hand on Hanamaki’s shoulder.

“There’s still plenty of time for our date,” He reassured him. “I’ll make sure to woo the shit outta you.”

Hanamaki laughed.

“I look forward to it, Mattsun.”

* * *

Takahiro shifted under his blankets and groaned as he woke up to his alarm, burying his face face into his husband’s warmth as he groped toward the nightstand to find his phone and shut it up. He felt lips press against his crown and a small smile against his hair.

“You gotta get up, Hiro,” Issei’s sleepy voice rumbled. Takahiro cuddled closer to Issei insistently, screwing his eyes shut.

“Don’t wanna,” He mumbled. “S’too comfy here.” Issei let out a soft chuckle.

“Guess I’ll just have to get up so you don’t have any excuses,” He teased playfully. He shifted to get up but was stopped by Takahiro’s limbs tangling around him like vines. “Hiro, please, this position is hella uncomfortable. It’s almost like that time Jaws sat directly on my balls.” Takahiro opened his eyes again and glanced up at Issei, pursing his lips.

“Pay the fee.”

Issei smiled and leant in for the kiss, pulling Hiro closer. Hiro hummed contentedly and let his eyelids flutter closed again. The kiss didn’t last long.

“Morning breath,” Issei grimaced with a laugh as he pulled away.

“As if yours is any better,” Takahiro shot back and sat up. He caught sight of the thirteen familiar black lines he had tattooed on Issei’s arm years ago and let out a laugh. “I still can’t believe you got tallies tattooed just so you could meet me.”

Issei grinned. “I told you it’d be a hell of a getting together story!”

“Yeah, and we’re such a cliche couple,” Takahiro huffed. “A florist and a tattoo artist, seriously, it’s exactly like a fanfiction AU.” Issei waggled his thick brows.

“Oh, I’m learning something new after four years, huh?” He chuckled. “I didn’t know you read fanfiction, Hiro.” Takahiro blushed bright red and didn’t meet Issei’s eyes.

“Y’know what, sometimes the canon just can’t scratch the itch!”

“Oh yeah, sure. I bet you read the filthiest smut.”

“... Maybe.”


End file.
